Valentine’s Day: Environmentalists’ Latest Enemy

Photo Credit: Deseronto Archives (Creative Commons)

As millions of Americans – from school kids to married couples – celebrate Valentine’s Day by exchanging heartfelt cards, be aware that, to the radical environmentalist crowd, they are actively destroying the planet. As columnist Jeffrey Ball suggested in a recent New Republic article, the holiday is responsible for countless atrocities against the environment.

He calls the greeting cards “ridiculous,” describing the decision to purchase them as “nuts.” Despite the fact that the buyer’s significant other might truly appreciate the gesture, he apparently feels the ostensible cost to the earth is far too great to justify the purchase.

Ball seems to equivocate a bit in his selective outrage, however, suggesting that he is guilty of engaging in environmentally unfriendly activities such as “eating burgers, or driving gasoline-powered cars, or drinking frostily refrigerated beer.”

Still, he feigns moral authority in depicting card-giving as far worse than any of his personal peccadilloes.

He specifically criticized card companies who tout ‘green’ lines of products, describing their methods of defending such assertions as disingenuous.

The article concedes that 70 percent of card buyers consider the purchase “’absolutely or ‘almost’ essential to them.” Nevertheless, he still suggests his refusal to give up cold beer makes him a more responsible human than someone else purchasing a greeting card.

Ball recalled his recent encounter with a cyclist at a bookstore, indicating the man “tried emailing Valentine’s cards years ago but soon returned to paper because his relatives assumed when they got the emailed greetings that he had forgotten to buy them a real card.”

Again, spreading joy on a holiday meant to embrace love is no excuse for destroying the environment, he insists.

The most unbelievable point in his narrative, however, came when he received a message from his daughter requesting him to purchase her a pack of greetings to share with her classmates. Instead of instilling in her the ideals he wants the rest of the country to abide by, he said he “did what any upstanding father would do when faced with a conflict between the good of the environment and the consumerist expectations of his daughter: I bought her the cards.”

–B. Christopher Agee

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Photo Credit: Deseronto Archives (Creative Commons)

1 comment to Valentine’s Day: Environmentalists’ Latest Enemy

  • wildbill446

    Here’s one for him, he should hold his breath for as long if not longer and only take shallow breaths. After all he is adding Co2 to the atmosphere and causing “Global Warming” also do not eat any beans or gassy foods, his flatulence will be contributing to more pollution again.